A Pox on Heisenberg from Orpheus on a rogue planet

Life without uncertainty would be as interesting as watching grass grow. But this is a strange world I imagine, one where the celestial beauty of today's sunrise lacks the company of repetition's comfort. It adds something that I can't quite put my finger on, an altogether ephemeral quality to it that softly whispers in the wind to whoever may listen the age old exhortation to live for the joy of the present. The trees continue reach skyward, fueled for as long as the sun provides, but none know how high the sycamores will grow just yet.

Stochastic calculus is useless here.

ph34r

I'm limping to the end this time round. The sinking feeling is back and the past 2 years have felt more like 20 years. I realize that I can't even do a fraction of what I did 2 years ago - even 1 day per week of the "clinic" compared to 3 or sometimes 4 per week in the last cycle has gotten nothing but a throat laceration.

Driving these days has become a chore - the courtesy car's utterly boring, and also utterly dangerous. Without the sense of excitement that the MR2 gives, I drive to work half-asleep and drive back sometimes fighting the urge to doze off at the wheel every inch of the way.

But perhaps the most life-changing event was going for that... test. I don't know if that was the right thing to do. Sure, you could say that understanding oneself is important, but up until now, I'd believed that everything I did was by choice. Having that taken from you is just downright lousy. Who knows what other underlying issues there might be...

On another note, I might finally be going to grad school and after the euphoria of making such a decision, a sudden pang of fear has set in. Truth is, I clearly have no idea what I'm doing. Going back to study and finally doing something beyond the basic degree has always been something that I've longed to do since the day I graduated. But I'm not 20 anymore. So I go to grad school... what next? Do I come back to the same old life, albeit with a shinier piece of paper and a couple of tens of grands poorer only to continue hacking away at my soul? I wonder how much of that decision was mine to make, considering the number of people suggesting that I go to grad school. I'm far too susceptible to others' suggestions to do crazy things and even though that's sometimes a good idea, I've also wrongly followed some crap advice before too. This time, I can't shake off the feeling that this might turn out to be yet another monumental mistake. Only there might be no second chance left.

Maybe there's some truth in what my friends told me recently - that I look like I've aged 20 years since joining the service. I need a vacation bad....

Was that another one?

It's kind of an axiom that everyone makes stupid decisions at some point in their life. It's been a few days and I still can't decide if signing that form was another one of those decisions.

All signs point "GO", but I chose otherwise... :(

Ancient Memories, Crappy Photos

A revisit of one of the places that I loved terribly back in my JC days. Unfortunately the night mode on the E75 is of the species utterous horribilis, so these pictures don't do the scenery any justice whatsoever. Photos taken here at sunrise would be gorgeous - I have but one and it's old school yo, a moldy 4R print.


That's the watchtower to watch the sunrise from. Didn't go up there. The number of people up there is usually an even, non-zero number.... *nod* Let's not disturb them. The carpark just behind was already full of cars with engines running... windows either fogged up or lined with newspaper... :P


Epic fail picture of the other side.


This wasn't here before... It's a walkway to some platform out in the water with no discernible purpose.


Uh yeah...


The long walkway in if you come on foot. There's a small carpark outside along Mandai road. People stroll and jog here even at night and the bund is an awesome place to sit on and watch the morning sun strain to peek over the horizon at the far side of the reservoir. Memories suggest that it gets quite chilly out here, but the air was still and humid when I went last night.


I hope those balls don't hit sunrise watchers...

Toilets...

Go on, guess how to use that tap. It took me quite a number of tries. Don't you hate it when people try to design exotic looking taps that function completely counter to intuition and common sense?


FYI that tap's not turned on by rotating or pressing that knob at the top although you can rotate and press it. You have to "open" it by tilting the knob so that it separates from the tap like a pez dispenser. That's all kinds of fail from some restaurant at Allson Hotel. I went there for a relative's birthday dinner recently. Good food, crap tap.

There's always a first for everything...

On my way to an ex-class' gathering, just barely out of my carpark, this kid on a bicycle going REALLY fast, against traffic around a bend collided with my car. I was going slowly since my car wasn't warmed up yet so I managed to brake to a stop but the champion didn't and smashed into my bumper and flipped over onto my windscreen before falling off. He got a small 1cm cut on his head and was walking and talking immediately after. My car on the other hand... :(

Huge crack on the left half of the windscreen...


Fibreglass chipped off the bumper where his bike impacted it...

Views of the accident...

View from the inside of my car after that...

Lots of glass shards all over the passenger seat =.=

Trying to blend in... :P


I bet this will be the spectacle of the school when I drive in tomorrow morning -.-

Still Alive

Amusement

MR2's in the workshop. Some jackass hit-n-runned it at Cairnhill. I always thought that carpark was a tad shady.

But the real amusement comes from the fact that it takes me 1 whole freaking hour to come to work using our world class public transport, but only 25 minutes with my trusty old mountain bike. Both leave me tired and smelly but one leaves me fitter, is free and takes less time. Actually, biking here isn't tiring at all, and I'm told that if I'd used a racer, I might not even sweat.

Yay public transport. -.-

On the other hand, my rear tyre suffered a flat when I jumped from road to pavement along Braddell. Help. ._.

Drrriiiivveeee

For a service that's supposed to be about the inculcation of knowledge and virtues, the amount of pseudoscience being disguised and "sold" as rigorous academic studies is mindblowingly abundant. I wonder how people accept this crock of shit.

Mental note: Not going to conferences anymore. It's healthier watching rocks grow.